So, you've found my blog and want to know: Who is The Back Pocket Girl? She's someone who friends have encouraged to blog about her dating experiences. And she's someone who is tired of the same ole same ole.
It all started back in Feb 2010 with internet dating. Before that, I was in relationships for 15 years. I didn't know dating could be such a minefield. My internet dating stories alone could fill a blog in itself and someday they may be featured here. But Back Pocket Girl was started to discuss the phenomenon of men who don't want you but don't want anyone else to have you either. My last experience with this has left me more than a little confused about men. Not that I wasn't confused before. But now, someone I thought was so important in my life (and who I placed importance on) is gone. But not really. He won't really go away (we're both guilty of this). He just kinda hangs out in the rafters. Waiting to dive bomb me when I least suspect it. But he rarely responds positively when I seek him out. He is the man who doesn't really want to belong to any club who will have him. He insists on exclusivity yet I don't see him for weeks at a time because of his busy work schedule and time spent with his children. Although he does have time to be online several times a day. This feels to me like he is looking for my replacement while keeping me in his "back pocket". He thinks I can't see it since I deleted my profile. But I can. Oh yes, indeed I can. And this is a huge issue for me.
Sad part is... I thought I loved him and he said he was crazy about me. But the love and time and effort just isn't returned. This leaves me with a dilemma. How do I proceed? Right now I want to cut him off entirely. I don't want someone who wants me only when it's convenient for him. Or who says I'm making him feel guilty when he doesn't spend time with me. Guilt just isn't a word I want any man to associate with me.
And so here I am. I've reached out and made an emotional bid and been rejected. Yet again. It's exhausting, really. Especially since I have other men who want to spend time with me and in I'm not nearly as interested in any of them. Fact of the matter is, I'm not interested in anyone but him. Why is this? Yet another blog topic...
The big deal for me is honesty. A man should be honest about what he wants. Is it dating? It is exclusivity? Is it FWB? If so, he should let his wishes be known and not stonewall, just throwing out crumbs every once in a while. I'm a pretty strong woman and I also let my wishes be known. Perhaps I haven't stressed them strongly or clearly enough to him. But I'm going to. And this time, my wishes will most likely be expressed by finally walking away.
Let me hear from all of you. How many of you are experiencing this issue with men? And how do you handle it?
The Back Pocket Girl JW
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